“

Teacher: In French, to say yes you say oui-oui.

[Peter starts laughing]

Peter: Oh, man, that’s hysterical. (keeps laughing) Hey, what do you say for no, doo-doo? (laughs) Hey, I’ll be right back. I’ve got to go take a wicked yes.

”
— Peter Griffin, Family Guy

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“Oh Audrey - I look like hell! I got bags under my eyes…. What’s that?
Well, if you were a man, I’d punch you. Punch you right in the mouth.
That’s bush!! Bush league.!!!
YOU HEAR ME? AUDREY! LOOK AT ME!
………I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Alright?”
— Ron Burgandy, Anchorman

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“I’m gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass. Gonna kick some ass in the USA. Gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I’m gonna kick some butt, gonna drive a big truck. I’m gonna rule this world. I’m gonna kick some ass. I’m gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass. Rock, flag, and eagle!”
— Charlie’s “America Song”, Always Sunny in Philadelphia

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“I know it was you Fredo….. I know it was you…. and you broke my heart.”
— Michael Corleone, The Godfather II

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“

Kramer: Well, what did you do next?

George: Then from out of nowhere a huge tidal wave lifted. Tossed like a cork, I found myself on top of him face to face with the blow-hole……….. I could barely see from all of the waves crashing down on top of me……. but I knew something was there, so I reached my hand in and pulled out the obstruction!
[George pulls out a golf ball]

Kramer: Is that a Titleist? A hole in one, eh?

”
— George is a Marine Biologist, Seinfeld

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“….Your gun is digging in to my hip…. (Ace gags…)”
— Ace Ventura, Ace Ventura, Pet Detective

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“Here’s the thing about cancer……. I don’t have it”
— Charlie, Always Sunny

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“You can’t triple stamp a double stamp!…. Harry….. You can’t triple stamp a double stamp!”
— Lloyd, Dumb and Dumber

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“

Kramer: At Brandt-Lealand, I’m gettin’ things done.

Jerry: How much are they paying you?

Kramer: Oh no no no, I don’t want any money, I’m doin’ this just for me.

Jerry: Clearly… so, uh, what do you do down there all day?

Kramer: T.C.B. You know, takin’ care of business. Well, I gotta go… ah, can’t forget my briefcase.

Jerry: What have you got in there?

Kramer: Crackers.

”
— Seinfeld

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“..That’s just Dumb…”
— Ricky Bobby, Talladega Nights

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“Why don’t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into Jobland where jobs grow on little jobbies.”
— Charlie Kelly, Always Sunny

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“Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch’s eyebrows are actually on his hat?”
— Joey Tribbiani, Friends

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“it’s so good, once it hits your lips, its so good …”
— Frank the Tank, Old School

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“There’s always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it’s not so much that I want to kill her, it’s just, I want her not to be alive anymore”
— Stewie Griffin, Family Guy

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“Brick, where did you get a hand grenade?”
— Ron Burgundy, Anchorman

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